He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
