I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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