I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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