Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
