i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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