You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
farters have to be the big spoon...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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