Tell her she can't have a vagina
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
