I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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