i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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