I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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