At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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