Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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