I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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