Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
