I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
