just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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