yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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