Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
