So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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