dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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