So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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