so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
