NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
