remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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