So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
