you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
