her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
