I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Green mimosas i think yes
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
