Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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