Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
