if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
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