Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
