looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
do herpes really smell.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
