Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
