I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
