I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
