like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
