so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
