I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
