so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
