told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
