Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
this just has baby written all over it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Randomize
