You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
