i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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