Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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