You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
