What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
