the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
