I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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