im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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