She said her name was "party"
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
